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    an idyllwild weather clam!

    Our gal, The Idyllwild Weather Clam thinks that it will rain again today.

    Friday 24 March 2017
    Currently at 5:07 AM 31°


    Up to the minute now-casting provided by: Idyllwild Weather Clam Mega-Skyview Ultra-Precision Doppler 160000 Super Computron Forecast in Full Spectrum HD
    Friday
    Mar242017

    The American Experiment: Testing The Low Values Edition

    A lovely centered picture of a my driveway
    Friends,

    Whether it's stripping healthcare out of a healthcare bill because it's too generous, hunting bears while they're hibernating, or removing online privacy protections so ISPs can make a dollar, the majority party in this United States Congress has been busy. Why do they hate people, sleeping bear cubs and people? Because there is a dollar to be made, and your modern Republican Party is chock full of people who have no interest in you.

    I propose that while we bide our time until they can be voted out of power, we have a little fun at their donor's expense: keep as many browser windows open and search for as many different things as your computer will allow. Let's work together to make our browsing and search histories worthless!

    Your best pal,

    - bob
    Sunday
    Mar052017

    A (very) Short Respite

    A lovely centered picture of a mountain, a building, and some cars
    Friends,

    I seem to be suffering lately from a fatigue brought on by an elderly orange man from Florida who has managed to destabilize this great country using little more than a Twitter account. He has surrounded himself by right-wing ideologues, dullards, kleptocrats, toadies and various hangers-on who are working with this elderly orange man to frighten old ladies and Australians while annoying Sweden and other people whose worldview hews towards facts and logic.

    Because I count myself among both the frightened and annoyed camps, I'm grateful to take a little break. This piney paradise, while not cut off from media, insists that inhabitants go outside and enjoy this gift.

    Until the new Secretary of the Interior sells off the forest to the highest bidder.

    Dammit. So much for my break.

    Your best pal,

    - bob
    Friday
    Feb172017

    Vicious Storm Update

    A lovely centered picture of our boys hard at work
    Friends,

    As you are no doubt aware, our gal, The Idyllwild Weather Clam, works tirelessly to bring you the most accurate weather forecasts possible every single weekday when she gets around to it. She does this by dispatching teams of scientists from her tide pool to the four corners of the San Jacinto and Santa Rosa mountains and use the latest scientific techniques to tirelessly gather data for her prediction models. Yesterday was no exception.

    Teams of highly trained meteorologists fanned out from the Secret Alpine Laboratory and collected a breathtaking amount of weather and climate data. These figures were used to compute The Idyllwild Weather Clam's prediction that it would rain yesterday in Idyllwild, California.

    It didn't.

    We apologize for the error.

    Your best pal,

    - bob
    Tuesday
    Feb142017

    Happy Awkward Valentine's Day

    A lovely centered picture of Joyce Mathews
    Friends,

    As you know, we here at the Secret Alpine Laboratory cherish your readership and understand that you have many options when you're looking for nonsense on the Internet. We're pleased as punch that you've chosen to stop by this hot mess and look forward to your continued patronage.

    All the best to you and yours while we hold up this sign sort of on our shoulder but mostly on our neck, and it's not weird at all and actually very comfortable, why do you ask?

    Your pal,

    - bob
    Friday
    Feb032017

    On The 25th Amendment

    A lovely centered picture of a nice lady doing nice things
    Friends,

    Sometimes you've just got to get rid of the president. Maybe you start hearings and he resigns and you get the mess pictured above, and sometimes you invoke the 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution because the president is unfit to serve. Either way, now would be a good time to do either of those things.

    And please remember to punch a Nazi. Thank you.

    Your very best pal in the whole wide world,

    - bob
    Thursday
    Feb022017

    This Day In History (without rodents)

    A lovely centered picture of a nice lady doing nice things
    Friends,

    Every February 2nd, I like to share with you some events from history to illustrate that today isn't just about rodents and my Birthday Holiday Season.

    This year, the subject of defeating fascism is at the top of my mind for some reason, so here are some instances where the bad guys have been punched in the face (and worse!) from history:
    • In 1942, auto factories in the United States switched to war production.
    • The first active resistance to Nazis in Norway was undertaken in 1942 to protest the installation of a puppet government.
    • In 1943, the German 6th Army surrendered to Russian forces at Stalingrad, which was sort of a big deal.
    So if you were thinking of getting me something, take a picture of someone you love punching a Nazi. I'll post them here!

    Your best pal in the whole wide world,

    - bob
    Tuesday
    Jan312017

    The Magic Of Webcammery!

    A lovely centered picture of the computer room
    Friends,

    Over the weekend, I replaced the old webcam server with a not nearly as old webcam server and the results so far have been better than I'd hoped. The new server is more responsive, has more storage, and should be able to stay up and running more consistently. Plus, it's a nice way to keep technology up and running and useful that some Cupertino-based computer companies have deemed obsolete.

    During the transition, I temporarily lost one of the primary cameras, but I added a new one that's taking great pictures. Now you can see what the neighbors are up to during most of the day and some of the night.

    That's not creepy, is it?

    Your pal,

    - bob
    Monday
    Jan232017

    Programming Note: Webcam Issues

    A lovely centered picture of the computer room
    Friends,

    Just a brief note to let you know that the webcam server at the Damp Dog Lodge has gone down and it may be the end of the line for the old gal. The machine is almost 15 years old, which is nearly 400 in computer years, so it might be time to put it out to pasture.

    The good news is that our crack team of engineers is working on the case and we should have a replacement ready to go in a few days.

    All we have to do is figure out what this knob does...

    Your best pal in the whole wide world,

    - bob
    Saturday
    Dec312016

    Happy New Year!

    A lovely centered picture of an improbable event
    Friends,

    I know that you're sick and tired of 2016. How could you not feel beat down by so much death, destruction, hatred and betrayal? You thought you could count on your fellow Americans to do the right thing and so many of them failed you. Failed us. Failed, in the end, themselves.

    You're tired and just want it to be over. Well today's your lucky day! 2016, the year when hope ended, is actually ending in a matter of hours. 2017 will finally be here. Hope won't be good enough anymore. We've got to get up and get to work and fight for every scrap and want every small victory. We can do this.

    Tonight I leave you with this wish: that your champagne is filled with horseshoes and your roosters are filled with wonder.

    Get some rest. We've got a lot of work to do.

    Your best pal in the whole wide world,

    - bob
    Wednesday
    Dec142016

    Transition Team

    A lovely centered picture of the transition team selecting cabinet secretaries.

    Friends,

    It seems that the transition from the administration of the 44th President of The United States to the 45th is going great as illustrated in this photo taken during a meeting in Trump Tower. The selection of people who know nothing to run government agencies they hate and have longed to dismantle is an enormous middle finger to the less than one quarter of the registered voters who selected this carnival barker.

    You know, they guy who's too smart to listen to intelligence briefings? Yeah, that guy.

    We're doomed.

    Your pal,

    - bob

    IMPORTANT GOVERNANCE UPDATE: Oh yeah, he also picks people based on their looks. What a buffoon.
    Wednesday
    Nov232016

    Happy Thanksgiving: Presidential Edition

    A lovely centered picture of the president of turkey.

    Friends,

    Just a brief note to wish you all the very best Thanksgiving holiday weekend. It's been a rough couple of weeks, but let's take a couple days off to relax with friends and family before we get back to our plans to win the midterms!

    Or something.

    Your pal,

    - bob

    P.S. Special thanks to the President of Turkey for his appearance at the beginning of this post. Now it really feels like Thanksgiving.
    Thursday
    Nov102016

    The 2016 Jaunty Election Guide: 50% Turnout Edition

    Friends,

    The election results are in and with only 50% turnout in one of the most acrimonious, contemptible races in the modern era, this country has elected a fascist as the next Commander-In-Chief. Congratulations!

    To everyone who voted for Tangerine Mussolini, please take a moment to explain to all of the black, hispanic, Jewish, Muslim, and female people in your life why you don't care about them. While you're at it, I'm interested to hear why you apparently value party over country, bonkers ideology over security, and choosing a carnival barker to represent the United States to the world. Also, considering that the dead-eyed granny-starving Speaker of the House is champing at the bit to dismantle Social Security, please explain to the elderly people why you don't care about them either.

    Shameless.

    Tuesday
    Nov082016

    The 2016 Jaunty Election Guide: Something Easy

    A lovely centered picture encouraging you to vote

     

    Friends,

    I have to admit that this election has left me cold and exhausted. I certainly haven't been as interested in discussing the merits of banning plastic bags, which I support, against grabbing bag fees and reallocating them towards something else, which is a trick by the plastics industry. We get the chance to end the death penalty in the state during this election and that should have been a big topic for debate, but it wasn't.

    What we got instead was so many candidates for President of the United States that the selection process resembled little more than news anchors swatting at a hornets' next with a stick that was far too short. Thanks to the insatiable teevee ratings machine, a bloviating yam was given too much free airtime to make outrageous, and to my sensitive ears unamerican, statements about minorities and majorities. Once they had the statements recorded, they could play them over and over, asking pundits what they thought about them. "Outragous or TOO outrageous? We'll ask our panel after this commercial break..."

    While this was happening, people who would normally be considered apologists for any other candidiate in any other election cycle instead went on camera and denied that their favorite tangerine-tinted bota bag ever said anything offensive. Or even said that thing that was on full display on the video running beside them. I believe that this distaste for the facts is unprecedented in Republican politics, and that's really saying something considering their recent history in the Congress.

    What alarms me about this election is that there are so many disqualifying aspects to the GOP's Orange Julius Caesar that it's hard to know where to start: Financial ties to Russia? He hasn't released his taxes? In hock up to his eyeballs? Bragging about sexual assault? Misuse of a personal charity? Calling for the trial, jailing or assasination of his political opponent?

    That's not the alarming part. We know he's a terrible human being. What's alarming is that there are too many people in this country who think all of that is okay. Okay in their president.

    It's not okay. It never was. You can help save the United States and the rest of the free world by voting for a competent candidate who won't throw a temper tantrum and blow us all up. You can vote for a woman who has the skills to apply reason to a problem, not just a tweet storm. You can vote for someone with a lifetime of public service who has faced scrutiny and survived instead of a man who lashes out when people make fun of his tiny hands.

    You have one job America.

    Sunday
    Sep182016

    The 2016 Jaunty Election Guide: An Introduction

    A lovely centered picture of a dog on a mission.

    Friends,

    I'm very sure that you're completely tired of this election cycle. I don't blame you. If I lived in a country that was so full of dopes that it was perilously close to electing a dope to its highest office, I'd be upset too. I mean, if there were only two major parties where I lived, and one offered a candidate who had solid policy proposals and serious plans to achieve them, while the other nominated a man so averse to the facts, so clearly obsessed with his own personal advancement over the general welfare, that there should be no contest. But there is and we could possibly be doomed.

    But let's think about this. Would the next Congress sign off on anything a theoretical President Racist P. Yam might propose? I suspect not and this makes me feel a little bit better.

    So why not throw a fit about something we can do something about? This year, here in California, we have 17 state-wide initiatives covering everything from plastic bags (again) to legalizing marijuana (again) to requiring condoms for porn. Thanks to the confluence of the genius of the Internet and the idiocy of A Jaunty Little Blog, I have made a dumb promise to cover each and every one of these initiatives in detail.

    Starting as soon as I get around to it, the posts will start coming for each initiative in reverse order (because it'll look cooler in the blog) from Proposition 67 right up to Proposition 51.

    Excited? Of course you are. Me too.

    Very excited.

    Your pal,

    - bob
    Saturday
    Jul162016

    Two Sentences From A Book - Slow Hand Edition

    The Little Jaunty Players
    - Proudly Present -
    - Your Best Mates -
    - Selflessly Helping A Fellow Out -
    - Without Any Thought Of Personal Reward -

    It's Two Sentences From A Book!


    I was obviously elected to divert his girlfriend's mate, who wasn't the most beautiful girl in the world. I wasn't interested in her at all, but I was very horny, and although I wouldn't kiss her, I did try to get my hands on her upper torso.

    Spoilers: She was not amused.

    Thursday
    May262016

    Everybody Needs A Hobby

    A lovely centered picture of a dog on a mission.

    Friends,

    I've been spending a lot of time at lower elevations lately, since the new gig is in a tilt-up concrete architectural afterthought near the Pacific Ocean. That means that Lola gets to spend quality time in the tiny back yard at a sweet girl's house.

    Lola likes to have a job and up in my piney paradise, she kept squirrels away while also fending off incursions by attackers disguised as joggers and hikers. I just assumed that her new vocation involved a coordinated attack on the grass to eliminate gophers.

    A lovely centered picture of a dog with a tiny car.

    Actually, she's been mining for Hot Wheels cars. And it turns out that she has impeccable taste. A Hot Wheels #167 Austin Healy is worth some decent cash when they're in good condition.

    A lovely centered picture of a tiny car.

    They might be worth a tiny bit less in this condition...

    A lovely centered picture of a dog with a car.

    It's a good start though. What a good girl!

    Your pal,

    - bob
    Wednesday
    May252016

    Have You Left A Comment Lately?

    A lovely centered picture of a very confused Mister McFeely.

    Friends,

    Just a housekeeping note. If you've tried to leave a comment, which I appreciate immensely, it may not have shown up for a very long time. The reason for this is two-fold. Even though the comments are moderated by me, I don't have a mechanism to notify me if something's awaiting my approval and because of the limitations of the platform, I never will. Second, on top of my lack of diligence in writing things here lately, I also have a less than stellar record of maintaining this joint—including moderating comments.

    It'll get better as I get back into the swing of regular updates. Thanks for your patience and continued readership.

    Your pal,

    - bob
    Tuesday
    May242016

    The 404 Still Makes Me LOL

    A lovely centered picture of bobtherieau.com.
    Friends,

    A few months ago, I was reading Advertising Age or Webdesigner Depot or something along those lines, and fell prey to a listicle showing fun 404 pages across the internet. In case you don't know what a 404 page is, here's Codeacademy to help explain...

    Sometimes you’ll see a 404 error if you incorrectly type the URL to a web page you want to visit, and instead of being taken there, you’re rerouted to a page that reads something like, “404 Error - File Not Found.” The 404 error is telling you that the request you sent did in fact make it to the server, but the server could not find the specific file you were requesting.

    This started me thinking about building a custom 404 page for bobtherieau.com. It's not really that hard, but what should be the theme? All the clever error pages, pages that nobody would normally ever see, have a theme. But what should I choose for my nature photo-heavy portfolio site?

    Then it became obvious...

    A lovely centered picture of bobtherieau.com's 404 page.
    And it still makes me laugh whenever I see it.

    Your pal,

    - bob

    P.S. If you're a big fan of error pages, I have server error and unauthorized access pages too!
    Friday
    May202016

    Once Upon A Time

    Friends,

    I've got a bone to pick with a copywriting trend I'm seeing lately. It's popping up in press releases, news articles, think pieces and op-eds with alarming frequency and I'm already tired of it.

    This trend is really a writing style and it goes like this...

     

    1. First paragraph has some background and lays out a premise.
    2. Second paragraph says how we used to do a thing.
    3. Third and subsequent paragraphs introduce the new thing and explain how great it is.

     

    It's lazy (and I've done it myself) and not new in itself. What's new is that articles are explicitly telling you what they're doing. Here's an example...

    Everyone likes to tell stories – it’s something we’ve done since we were kids. These days storytelling is an inherent part of our daily lives on social media, whether it’s sharing family photos or promoting a product, company, or cause.

    For a long time, the tools that let us creatively express ourselves and tell our stories were there for the select few who knew how to use them. But times have changed.  A high-definition camera is just a swipe away. You can carry an orchestra in your pocket and a digital publishing studio in your bag. We already know how to share with the world—but how do we actually stand out by telling our stories with impact?

    Today we’re announcing Adobe Spark – a new way to create powerful visual stories...

    Sure, Executive Vice Presidents write this way, but you shouldn't. You're better than that.

    Your best pal in the whole world,

    - bob

    Thursday
    May192016

    An Ungodly Early Hour

    IMG 2309

    Friends,

    It's been six weeks, so I suppose I should finally spill the beans: I decided to take a job off the hill and away from my lovely forest. The decision was easy to make since I was as broke as a joke, but it's been a tough transition and doesn't seem to be getting easier.

    Waking up at 3:30 every morning is beating me up. I don't know how people do it. The new coworkers in the new office in the new town at the new job are nice enough, but I'm so sleepy that I don't feel I'm holding up my end of the bargain. Yeah, you read that right. Three-effing-thirty.

    Thankfully, a sweet girl I know has been more than generous in playing along with this absurd schedule shift. She's been a good sport, but she surely must be growing weary of my alarm going off in the middle of the night.

    However, I have a plan…

    Your best pal,

    - bob