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    Tuesday 22 August 2017
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    « The 2016 Jaunty Election Guide: 50% Turnout Edition | Main | The 2016 Jaunty Election Guide: An Introduction »

    The 2016 Jaunty Election Guide: Something Easy

    A lovely centered picture encouraging you to vote



    I have to admit that this election has left me cold and exhausted. I certainly haven't been as interested in discussing the merits of banning plastic bags, which I support, against grabbing bag fees and reallocating them towards something else, which is a trick by the plastics industry. We get the chance to end the death penalty in the state during this election and that should have been a big topic for debate, but it wasn't.

    What we got instead was so many candidates for President of the United States that the selection process resembled little more than news anchors swatting at a hornets' next with a stick that was far too short. Thanks to the insatiable teevee ratings machine, a bloviating yam was given too much free airtime to make outrageous, and to my sensitive ears unamerican, statements about minorities and majorities. Once they had the statements recorded, they could play them over and over, asking pundits what they thought about them. "Outragous or TOO outrageous? We'll ask our panel after this commercial break..."

    While this was happening, people who would normally be considered apologists for any other candidiate in any other election cycle instead went on camera and denied that their favorite tangerine-tinted bota bag ever said anything offensive. Or even said that thing that was on full display on the video running beside them. I believe that this distaste for the facts is unprecedented in Republican politics, and that's really saying something considering their recent history in the Congress.

    What alarms me about this election is that there are so many disqualifying aspects to the GOP's Orange Julius Caesar that it's hard to know where to start: Financial ties to Russia? He hasn't released his taxes? In hock up to his eyeballs? Bragging about sexual assault? Misuse of a personal charity? Calling for the trial, jailing or assasination of his political opponent?

    That's not the alarming part. We know he's a terrible human being. What's alarming is that there are too many people in this country who think all of that is okay. Okay in their president.

    It's not okay. It never was. You can help save the United States and the rest of the free world by voting for a competent candidate who won't throw a temper tantrum and blow us all up. You can vote for a woman who has the skills to apply reason to a problem, not just a tweet storm. You can vote for someone with a lifetime of public service who has faced scrutiny and survived instead of a man who lashes out when people make fun of his tiny hands.

    You have one job America.

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