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    an idyllwild weather clam!

    Our gal, The Idyllwild Weather Clam thinks that it will rain again today.

    Tuesday 22 August 2017
    Currently at 4:54 AM 57°


    Up to the minute now-casting provided by: Idyllwild Weather Clam Mega-Skyview Ultra-Precision Doppler 160000 Super Computron Forecast in Full Spectrum HD

    Entries in question (77)

    Friday
    Feb182011

    The Question: Aren't You Chilly? Edition

    Friends,

    Here's a brand new question, ripped from the headlines!

    Would you rather...

    ratchet up the drama at work,
    or
    hide out at The Tilted Kilt across state lines?

    a) It's Sweeps Week!
    b) Who came up with this PR campaign? Brett Favre?

     

    John! Marsha!

    - bob

    Thursday
    Feb172011

    The Question: Not Laughing With You Edition

    Would you rather...
    a) move next to Mecca International Airport, Landfill and Dog Kennel,
    or
    b) take Minimalist architecture one step too far?

     

    a) Dear Editor, You have no idea what I have to put up with...
    b) No! No! Walls are too confining! I want them all removed!

     

    Oh, you poor dear,

    - bob

    Wednesday
    Feb162011

    The Question: Looking For Fresh Brains Edition

    Friends,

    I know it's difficult (and maybe even a little painful) to believe this, but The Question has been away since 2007. That's a long time and we're a little rusty, but my vivacious writing partner thought that we might give it another shot, so here's your question for today...

    Would you rather:

    a) reabsorb a Smart fortwo;
    or
    b) announce your candidacy to be California's First Dog?

    a) I'm feeling a little gassy.
    b) The Scottish Deerhound is up among 18 to 34s by three points.

     

    That dog won't hunt,

    - bob

    Friday
    Mar162007

    Whatever Happened To...

    Friends,

    Nobody is very sad that we've stopped writing The Question, but we did. We wrote it primarily for our own amusement anyway, but it stopped being fun and started being an obligation. Actually, I personally received way more negative commentary about it than positive and that was certainly no fun. It may rise again one day, but no time soon.

    Your pal,

    bob

    P.S. I'm also working on a follow-up piece to the Town Crier story (note: google cache link used since the town crier doesn't permalink to past articles. - ed) on radiation in the drinking water, plus how blogging is killing my career! Come back for those later in the day, won't you?

    Thursday
    Feb222007

    We're Gonna Blow The Lid Off

    Would you rather...
    uncover the conspiracy among the world's fish population to ignore your lures,
    or
    a secret cabal of radical leftists?

    a) ...written on tiny scraps of paper, passed out in undersea meeting halls...
    b) NASCAR? I never would've guessed!

    Yes Wilbur, even Velveeta.

    - bob

    Wednesday
    Feb212007

    It Was Terrible! Words Can't Describe It!

    Would you rather...
    be the event planner for your boss' beclowning,
    or
    help your coworkers flee from her attempts at ostrobogulation?

    a) All the VPs will be there!
    b) My eyes!

    The video conference is all set. Go ahead...

    - bob

    Tuesday
    Feb202007

    It's An Emergency, Alright

    Would you rather...
    follow up your Date Festival appearance with a concert date in Wendover, Nevada
    or
    trade your REO Speedwagon tickets for Foreigner tickets?

    a) The Peppermill Casino welcomes Canada Lube 'n Tune Franchisees and rock fans!
    b) Eh, I'm fairly hot-blooded.

    Dude, we're getting the band back together...

    - bob

    Friday
    Feb162007

    The Most Expensive Breakfast Ever

    Would you rather...
    have a non-binding food allergy,
    or
    accidentally make an omelette from stolen Chinese dinosaur eggs?

    a) Resolved, we support the crops...
    b) Musty!

    This will send a strong message to Peter Pan and Jif.

    - bob

    Thursday
    Feb152007

    The Juice Boxes Were Gettin' Loose In Turn Two

    Would you rather...
    be an anonymous coffee station dominating, breakfast-preparing temp,
    or
    start a NASCAR team to replace the suspended ones in the Daytona 500?

    a) Look! If I let you by to get coffee, I might scorch the Hollandaise!
    b) I'd like to thank the Gymboree/Starbucks Plymouth Voyager Team...

    It's the most important meal of the day!

    - bob

    Wednesday
    Feb072007

    Part 47 Of Our Henny Youngman Podcast

    Would you rather...
    rule that everyone be should be vaccinated against everything,
    or
    that everyone must pay attention at all times?

    a) It's combo vaccine for measles, rubella, hiccups, unruly hair, and running with scissors!
    b) This ruling discriminates against the poor!

    But you can't innoculate against stupid...

    - bob

    Tuesday
    Feb062007

    Diapers? That's A New One On Us

    Would you rather...
    be on the wrong end of an Astronaut Love Triangle,
    or
    purchase everything you need to get rid of the other woman at The Stalker Hut?

    a) Day 14, there she was again, in the Russian Astrophysics Module...
    b) A wig, a knife, BB pistol, latex gloves, a steel mallet, and several feet of rubber tubing

    Can't we just be friends, until the supply module arrives?

    - bob

    Monday
    Feb052007

    Creamy! He Sputtered

    Would you rather...
    be stranded in your van on the Isle of Man with Stan Chan and a can of flan,
    or
    stammer and stutter making your case for peanut butter?

    a) Did I ever tell you about sinking my sampan off the coast of Japan?
    b) Him? He's an old nutter!

    Where did you get that nice suntan?

    - bob

    Friday
    Feb022007

    I'm No Heifetz, But I Get By

    Would you rather,
    be someone who just goes to work everyday—on a spaceship,
    or
    add portamento to your vibrato?

    a) I'm originally from Iowa.
    b) I've always enjoyed Lithuanian silk underwear music.

    Oh look, here's the new guy. Johnny Titanium Lunchpail.

    - bob

    Wednesday
    Jan312007

    Cinder Blocks Is Like Five Dollar Traction Control

    Would you rather...
    enlist with your Chinese buddy in the Irish Army,
    or
    go on a press tour of the Alps in identical 1978 GMC Caballero pickups?

    a) Travel to far-off places, like County Mayo.
    b) Ja! Ich liebe smokey burnouts!

    I can't understand either of them.

    - bob

    Tuesday
    Jan302007

    40 MB Hard Drives Don't Grow On Trees

    Would you rather...
    upgrade to Windows Vista Ultimate Home Professional Extreme Service Pack 2,
    or
    stick with your trusty Windows 3.11 for Networks machine?

    a) I'm waiting for the patch to come out.
    b) "Device Floppy Drive A:/ is full. Try again?"

    What do you mean it's been hacked already?

    - bob

    Monday
    Jan292007

    M. y. Fel. low. A. mericans

    Would you rather...
    publish a community newspaper during your breaks at Hemet Video,
    or
    apologize to the nation for the poor quality of your web video?

    a) My ol’ Pappy once said, “Publishing a magazine is a lot like eating a bicycle..."
    b) I can't vote for anyone that pixelated.

    Where do you start?

    - bob

    Sunday
    Jan282007

    Question Answered

    Pals,

    My vivacious writing partner and I craft a question for your edification nearly every day (I've missed a couple lately due to work shenanigans, see the next post for a Genius! moment). She sends our product out to her custom mailing list and expects response. I post the thing here and am less expectant of an answer. It'd be neat if you did (I'm looking at you, cloaked New Zealander) in the comments, but what can you do. We used to think that the Intertubes would be participatory. A two-way conversation across the broad divide. Turns out it's more like the tube. You look, you change the channel.

    This is a minor gripe of mine, but at least one person has gone to great lengths to participate. In fact, this may be the most extraordinary response to any single post here. You remember the question from a couple days ago:

    Would you rather...
    move your morning radio show more upscale,
    or
    more lowbrow?

    a) The Ante Meridiem Managerie with Mister Corpulent and His Associates
    b) The Poop Show.


    And this response during an anti-war rally that astoundingly occurred before this question was even posted.

    We write, you decide.

    In the future!

    - bob

    Friday
    Jan262007

    Cripes, You Didn't Just Bake Cookies

    Would you rather...
    be blamed for everything and responsible for none of it,
    or
    be the block captain for your neighborhood Hillary In '08 club?

    a) The Coriolis Effect
    b) Take that Vilsack!

    Did you know that the Internet swirls anti-clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere? Go ahead, Google it.

    - bob

    Thursday
    Jan252007

    We Test Very Well With Tweens

    Would you rather...
    move your morning radio show more upscale,
    or
    more lowbrow?

    a) The Ante Meridiem Managerie with Mister Corpulent and His Associates
    b) The Poop Show.

    Caller ten, right now, scores two tickets to La Boheme!

    - bob

    Tuesday
    Jan232007

    These Animals Are Very Trainable

    Would you rather...
    require passports to enter the supermarket,
    or
    work an eight hour shift handling your dog-sniffing dogs at the airport?

    a) Aisle 2 is secure!
    b) Oversight!

    I think we can all rest a little easier.

    - bob